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Robert Fisk

There’s a special place in hell for Celebrity Karaoke Club

Or #TimeforBed

Seriously. There is. Or at least there definitely should be a special place in hell for Celebrity Karaoke Club.

There’s a time of the day when other people are either brushing their teeth or watching the news while feeling smug about their life choices.

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Life would be a lot better if Celebrity Karaoke Club did not exist. Picture from ITV 2

Late night ITV 2 isn’t for them. Late night ITV 2 is for people who have an idea that they should go to sleep at 10pm so they are alert during the day but are still awake at 1am while looking for mirrors online.

Late night ITV 2 usually rewards viewers with some good cartoons like American Dad!, Family Guy and The Cleveland Show.

But for the past week ITV 2 has been preying on people who haven’t switched off or switched sides after Love Island. It has been preying on them with a show called Celebrity Karaoke Club.

Who is the best and the worst on Celebrity Karaoke Club? What if they are all bad?
Social media superstars Mak & Harvey were on the show to try and get young fans to watch

The first rule of Celebrity Karaoke Club is it should never have been made (seriously – how did it get commissioned?).

The second rule of Celebrity Karaoke Club is that anyone on there is either there because they were bored of not working for a year and wanted to do something, anything, in front of the cameras, or because their agent made a bad decision.

Every article I’ve found about the programme spends most of it explaining who the people are – that gives you a clue as to how famous the people are.

When Suzi Ruffell isn’t on Celebrity Karaoke Club she is being good at comedy
Darren Harriott is also much better at comedy than he is at Celebrity Karaoke Club

Contestants for this series (apparently it is the second one so maybe someone somewhere likes it) include singer and West End star Amelia Lily, Ibiza Weekender’s Jordan Davies, TV presenter AJ Odudu, reality TV star Olivia Attwood, Big Brother legend Brian Dowling, comedian Darren Harriott, radio DJ and Dancing on Ice champion Sonny Jay, social media superstars Max & Harvey, the Real Housewives of Cheshire’s Tanya Bardsley, Made in Chelsea’s Mark Francis Vandelli, TV & radio presenter Yasmin Evans, comedian Suzi Ruffell and Blazin’ Squad’s Marcel Somerville.

See – mostly people you might vaguely recognise if you watch a lot of reality TV or comedy but no-one you think should be on The Masked Singer instead.

Apparently the final was last night but it is of no significance because the only final that matters today is the one at Wembley.

Jordan is better known for his antics on Ibiza Weekender
Brian Dowling is best known for his time in the Big Brother house years ago

The winner of Celebrity Karaoke Club was apparently voted for by the other contestants while they were partaking in the free bar – in the competition ‘with a difference’.

But what do they win? It isn’t as if the show is going to be watched by TV execs desperate to cast a karaoke queen in a sitcom or sign Amelia Lily (originally from X-Factor 2011) for another record deal.

Is the winning just the being able to say you’re in a WhatsApp group with lots of people who might go on to great things in the future?

Marcel Somerville usually does singing – innit
Does anyone know what Mark Francis does when he isn’t on not great TV shows?

All I know is that I managed to sit through three or four minutes of an episode earlier this week and it’s time I will never get back.

It was more cringeworthy than GB News and that’s saying something – and I hope we never see series three.

Stay safe for another week!