New year party by Paul Everett

17 one night stands and other new year’s resolutions

Or #happynewyear

Last year I didn’t achieve my resolution of having one night stands.

I daresay I didn’t achieve most of the 100 resolutions – which actually became just 33.

This year though I think I may make it to 100, if I include a lot of the things I want to buy on my list.

Here we are:

Buy a toilet roll holder
Yes, I’m starting 2022 with big ambitions. It should be easily achievable but I’m very choosey.

Drink more cocktails
This has been on my list for as long as I can remember. Who knows if I will ever achieve it? I’d like some more fun times in nice places this year.

Buy a cocktail shaker
I’m considering an antique one

Buy some nice clothes
I wear my clothes until they are falling apart, with holes full of memories, but now may be the year to buy some new ones.

Learn some DIY skills
There’s nothing quite like living in a rented room for years to show just how little DIY I can do. I’d like to learn how to rewire a light and to be able to be amazing at plumbing.

Cook better food
I haven’t mastered the timings for cheap rolls at my local Co-Op and, as a result, am usually eating better than I did in my old place. But I’d like some more variety (feel free to share any favourite recipes you have).

Stay out later
I miss going out until the sun comes up, having crazy nights I’ll remember or not remember at all for years to come. When we are allowed to go out properly again I’d like more nights to remember.

Go to bed earlier (when I’m not doing the above)
I’m very bad at not wasting hours watching American Dad on ITV2 when I should be sleeping. Hopefully if I sleep more I’ll be healthier.

Make a plan for the year
All plans were cancelled in 2020 and 2021 but it would be good to know what direction life is going.

Join an internet dating site
When I’ve lost some weight and we are allowed to go outside I might give this a go because swiping hasn’t been successful so far.

Go and see more bands play
Over the past few years (apart from 2020) I’ve begun to see more plays than bands. This makes me sad because there’s nothing better than live music.

Learn a language
I’m one of those people who only knows how to order a select few dishes in the languages we learned at school. I’m supposed to be in Denmark in September for a half marathon and by then I’d like to be able to ask a shopkeeper about their pastries.

Go on two holidays
I should be in New York in February and Denmark in September so this one should be very achievable.

Get up earlier at the weekend
Would being up by 11am on Saturdays and Sundays (unless I’m exhausted) fill me with joy?

Eat a meal at a restaurant on my own
I was so proud of myself last year when I sat on my own and ate a panini at a café in the Glades shopping centre in Bromley. Maybe this year I will work up to being somewhere there is a menu and a waiter.

Try not to compare myself negatively to others
If you’re reading this I’m probably envious of what you have managed to achieve in life.

Go outside at least once a day
Living alone, working from home, it’s sometimes too easy to not leave my place all day, especially because I only like to walk if there is a purpose.

Speak to people on the phone more often
Messaging is fine but sometimes I forget what voices are like.

Learn to love the sound of my feet walking away from things that aren’t meant for me
I need to move on from things much more quickly than I do at the moment.

Realise that I bring a lot to the table and it’s okay to act like it.
I need to realise that other people like me (not all of them but some).

Work out what doesn’t make me happy and change it

Have 17 one night stands
Last year I failed this challenge but it’s a new year so there are new opportunities.

Find a new TV show to watch
Every year I will always be thankful for Community. If you have any recommendations for other things I should watch then I’d be grateful.

Go to the cinema three times
In 2021 I didn’t manage to go to the cinema at all. This year I’d like to be sat in the darkness with strangers a few times.

Read three fiction books
This may sound a small number but I don’t think I read one in 2020 so two is better than one and that’s better than none.

Discover some new bands

Be tidier
This is a tricky one for so many reasons but I’m trying.

Weigh less on December 31, 2022 than I do on February 1st  this year
This should really start with my January 1st weight but I’m scared to get on the scales.

Bake some nice things

Be happier with who I am
It’s going to be tricky but I’ll see what I can do

Ask someone out
Fingers crossed for a great 2022

Write two chapters of a novel
I only have two sentences so far

Only sleep when it is acceptable to do so
I spent too much time sleeping at the weekend

Be in a YouTube video or TikTok
No-one will know whether I could have been a TikTok star during the pandemic.

Keep a gratitude diary

Watch better TV shows
There is only so much Flog It! and Bargain Hunt someone can watch when they should actually be watching a great drama.

Be more tolerant
I need to try and not be so annoyed with people.

Visualise my goals
Once I have worked out what they are

Learn more things

Go to an art exhibition at least once a month

Invest in some more art

Discover why WH Smiths sells chocolate and soft drinks for so much more money than other shops
I just cannot understand why they price the items so highly.

Work out what I want to do as a career until I die

Lose at least two stone

Run Park Run at least once a month

Run three half marathons

Run a 5k in under half an hour

My fastest time for this distance is 23 minutes but haven’t run anywhere near this pace for years. I hope to be able to do it this year – and hope I’m not too old.

Join a running club
Part of the reason why I moved to the place I am now is because it’s close to a running club. Hopefully I’ll join earlyish this year.

Give up takeaways (unless with a friend)
I’m not too much of a regular on Deliveroo, Just Eat and Uber Eats but cutting back will be better for my bank balance, my waistline and will also stop the disappointment I feel after ordering.

Only drink when out with friends
So I can be healthier

Go to see more circus performances
Hopefully this will include Katharine Arnold and also Aircraft Circus