Kim Kardashian and Kanye West - larger
Robert Fisk

The one with Kim Kardashian’s divorce and Prince Philip’s hospital stay

Or #Itsnotallaboutthatassaboutthatass

Booty, butt, arse, behind, derriere, backside, bottom, buns, business class, caboose, donk, duff, fanny, tooshy, trunk, tush and whoopie cakes – no matter what you call it, both of the families in this week’s episode of Fiskal Policy got a bit of fame with an ass.

First there was Pippa Middleton in her bridesmaid dress at her sister Kate’s wedding.

And then there was Kim Kardashian with the picture that broke the internet more than when you get a new router and the plug and play doesn’t work.

Pippa Middleton by duncan c
I don’t have the budget to pay for the rights to use a professional photographer’s pictures of Pippa Middleton at her sister’s wedding so instead here is a photograph of a street artist’s impression of her (“Pippa Middleton’s bum” by duncan is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0)
Kim Kardashian butt
This version of the famous Kim Kardashian picture hasn’t quite broken the internet (“Brick the Internet” by Ochre Jelly is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Both families are in the news again this week but for very different reasons.

Just three months since the Kardashian-Wests (like John West but without the fish) appeared in Fiskal Policy, when Kim celebrated her 40th birthday in a much more extravagant way than I did, the news from the K-tribe this week is that she has filed for divorce from Kanye West.

The reasons haven’t been revealed as yet but part of Kanye must be wondering whether it is partly to do with the hologram present he got his wife for her birthday.

There’s doing too little for a wife’s birthday – like getting her a pair of gardening gloves – but there is also doing too much. And by too much I mean making a creepy hologram of your wife’s dead dad where you script it to say how amazing you are.

Everyone else has known Kanye West to be a egotistical popstar for years (yes Kanye – if by chance you read this, I’ve classified you as a popstar, not a rapper) but maybe the hologram was a wakeup call for Kim.

I obviously wonder how it will affect their behemoth bank balances (I bet they can afford to heat all the rooms in at least a little bit of one of their homes) but also how will it affect Kanye West’s plan to run for President of the USA in 2024?

The woman in the red top looks absolutely repulsed at the scene unfolding before her eyes – Kim and Kanye in more loving times (“Kim-Kardashian-Kanye-West-venezia-compleanno-alexis-it-14” by myalexis is licensed under CC BY 2.0)
Kim Kardashian and Matt Goss
When I woke up this morning I had no idea I’d be using a picture from Matt Goss’s Flickr page on Fiskal Policy (for those of you who are not aware of who he was – he used to be in a band called Bros. One of his family used to work in the University of Kent’s facilities department and would get really annoyed when my friend and I would go there to complain but use Bros lyrics in our complaint) (“kim kardashian 3” by MattGossMusic is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
Kanye West at Glastonbury
Once upon a time (aka June 2015) Kanye West headlined the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury Festival (“File:Kanye West (18653258244).jpg” by Simon Godley from York, England is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0)

Yes, after not getting many votes last year he still apparently thinks the best direction for him (pun intended) is the path towards the White House.

Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan are the only two divorcees to have become president, and both had remarried before taking office.

There is time for Kanye to find another wife, after Kim kicks him to the kerb, before the race to the White House starts in earnest – but there isn’t much time.

From the Kardashian-Wests to the Mountbatten-Windsors . . .

Prince Philip and the Queen
Back in pre-Covid days (in this case October 2011) the Queen and Prince Philip were always galivanting on adventures (“Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip” by jemasmith is licensed under CC BY 2.0)
Royals figures (Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Kate Middleton and Prince William) at Madame Tussauds London
The closest most people will get to the Royal family is at Madame Tussauds (“Royals figures (Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Kate Middleton and Prince William) at Madame Tussauds London” by Luke Rauscher is licensed under CC BY 2.0)
Diamond Jubilee Pageant by Richard Lewis
The Royal Barge Spirit of Chartwell during the Diamond Jubilee 1,000 boat Flotilla on the River Thames, to commemorate Queen Elizabeth II’s 60th year as British monarch – June 3rd, 2012. (Photo Richard Lewis/Commonwealth Secretariat (“Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant” by Commonwealth Secretariat is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Unlike the world of Kim Kardashian where everything she does is documented on some kind of social media platform or TV show, what is exactly wrong with the Queen’s husband is being kept under wraps.

We do know it isn’t Covid-related and we do know both he and the Queen had their first jabs for that last month.

But what we also know is that he had a visit from one of his sons, Prince Charles, on Saturday afternoon.

While many questioned why this was allowed at a time when visiting people in hospitals in the UK has been made more difficult in a lot of places due to the pandemic, I say let’s all be thankful it wasn’t his other son.

And let’s be hopeful that he gets out of hospital soon, and Kim and Kanye do what is best for them and – most importantly – let’s do what is best for ourselves.

If you’re reading this in a country where the pandemic is mostly over then please can you pass on some tips to the UK’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

Supposedly he is going to be unveiling a roadmap about how we will get out of lockdown but I’m not convinced. Over the past 11 months he has made as much of a success of dealing with this crisis as David Cameron and Theresa May did with Brexit.

Stay safe for another week!